| Day 2 |
[25 Jun 2004|06:54pm] |
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 depressed |
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[Clean Sweep] |
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so these past two days have been extemely shitty and today is no expection....i'm starting to find out some things about people and it sucks.....
this day sucks.
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| Humm |
[26 Nov 2003|11:10pm] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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music |
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[nothing] |
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the one and only time i will post w/o a friends lock on....just to see...hummm
:)
Post anything that you want (in comments), and post it anonymously. Anything. A story, a secret, a confession, a fear, a love -- anything. Be sure to post anonymously and honestly. Post twice if you'd like. Then, put this in your LJ to see what your friends (and perhaps others who you don't even realize read your LJ) have to say.
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| kk. |
[19 Mar 2003|09:13pm] |
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mood |
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 aggravated |
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music |
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The radio |
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Okay, I'm making my journal a friends only journal. So if you would like to read my journal comment and I will add you.
-me
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[17 Mar 2003|05:29pm] |
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mood |
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tired |
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music |
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Christina Aguerlia's new cd |
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Well, Shawn and I broke up. I'm not upset at all because it was a stressful relantionship that i didn't need at the moment. So yeah anyways. I found this great website ya'll need to go there
http://users.snip.net/~sprtfan/we_are/women.htm
Its way to funny. I went to my friends sweet 16 on Saturday and didn't get home until 2:30 in the AM. OMG....was it nuts or what? I had a blast though so its all good. Well, I'm still tired so I'm going to jet and do work I missed today because I was on a field trip for Latin.
xoxo
Jenna
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| yuck. |
[12 Mar 2003|04:57pm] |
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mood |
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crappy |
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music |
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Memorize- Ja Rule and Ashanti |
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So i got a letter home saying that i'm coming up on a half way mark for days absent. You are allowd 18 days and I have been absent 9 i think but I thought it was like 7 or 8 but eh oh well.
my nose hurts and i feel like rudoplf the red nose fuckin' raindeer. Can you tell how much i like it?
xoxo
Jenna
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| *cough* |
[11 Mar 2003|05:27pm] |
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mood |
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 sick |
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music |
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RENT Soundtrack |
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Wow, I haven't updated in awhile eh. Well, what has happened expect now I have a boyfriend. His name is Shawn and he's a senior. Thats all you to need to know lol. hehehe. Its good.....almost 2 weeks on friday. Which is kinda cool itself since hes been my only boyfriend. ya know? He did ask me to prom so I'm going! woot! woot! Well the past two days I have been sick as a dog. The tissues and I have bonded. I have gone threw about 3 boxes in the past 2 days. nice huh? But Shawn came over today to see how I felt and I was like 'don't i look like crap and sound like shit.' but he did anyways and he brought be a dozen red roses. How sweet is that???? He scored some bonus points wit that one.
Tomorrow I have to go for more blood tests...yeah. lol. j/k Ummm but yeah can't wait for that. Been absent from school for the past 2 days so it will be intersting to be back in school....got a lot of stuff this week so i got to get better. well my typing is bad cuz yeah i'm so tired lol.
But I was getting used to watching the view, the wayne brady show and all the stuff its fun! hahaha. okay going to go so i can stay up and watch American Idol.
xoxo
Jenna
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| wow. |
[02 Mar 2003|02:01pm] |
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mood |
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 giggly |
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music |
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the radio |
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wow. Liz had an amazing time at the Grammy's she got me a prorgram so I have a little part of music history which is very cool. I liked that.
So what else has happened.Umm...oh by the way thanks M for the amazing icon! ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) emma76 go check her out she makes amazing icons! lol.
Well, on friday i went out on my first date ever. And it was nice. I liked it a lot. I had a great time we went to the mall for a little and we went to see Chicago which by the way is an amazing movie and then we got coffee. It was nice. Very nice. I saw him yesterday as well and since I have one class with him its good I get to see him every day. :) Which is cool. Well, anyways. I'm going to jet I will write later because i have a lot of AP crap. And tonight is American Dreams and My Big Fat Greek Life with Joey in the episode. So i'm so watching it. lol. And btw he knows my little thing for JC and he doesn't mind. lol. hehe.
xoxo
Jenna
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| damn. |
[23 Feb 2003|06:35pm] |
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mood |
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 envious |
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music |
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the radio |
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OMG. I found out that one of my best friends {liz} is at the Grammys tonight. Ah! She already kinda met Kim Catrell and TLC. She also saw Bonnie Ratt and everything. Well, damn! I wish I was there. She did say that if she had another pass I was going to go. lol. Well...eh....I'm going to go and go and watch them.
*sigh*
xoxo
Jenna
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[22 Feb 2003|05:29pm] |
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mood |
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aggravated |
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music |
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Christina Aguerlia's new cd |
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Okay. Now this pisses me off. I had almost my whole entry done but they it gets erased! FUCK!
So here it is again.
--------
Last time I wrote was when i had my wisdom teeth out. Well, the stiches are out now and its a hella lot better. I never knew ice and i would have bonded so well but we did. Ice packs and I are friends. lol. But yeah I can eat normaly and its good. Ummm but yeah if you have your wisdom teeth out ICE! ASAP! I mean it. lol. I had enough time to get better so it was good. The wake and the funeral was sad but i wouldn't be anywhere elese even with my puff checks and my bad speech.
Well, I went to the GI doctor and they don't know what the hell is wrong with me. But they have it down to two things so thats good. I'm on a lot of medicene so its good. lol. Hopefully I won't be in pain anymore. *sigh* Its not pleasent. Well, when I was there the doctor was looking over my blood tests and something looked abnormal. They think I may have Celiac Disease. Celiac Disease is when you may not have wheat or gluten. I have to go under more blood tests to find out if I have it. The normal blood count for Celiac is 20-30 and mine was 36 (almost double the normal) If I do have this disease I will have to under go a byopsy for my small intestine. They would do that through a endoscopy. *sigh* I got to admit I'm scared as all hell but I know I will be able to get though it. Celiac disease is a lifelong disease that will consist of no wheat or gluten. Its not horrible its just scary not knowing. But the thing that boggles my mind is that fact that when I was getting my blood drawn I was on Atkins...so something is up with this. I have been through so much in the past year and half and it has really made me stonger, more mature and more responsible. Which is good but at the same time bad. *sigh*
--not knowing if your dad is alright after the 9/11 attacks
--finding your grandfather after he had a major stroke
--finding out that your (other) grandfather has Alzheimer's disease.
--your other grandfather having a heart attack.
-----and now this...jeez....and on top of it all trying to please everyone in your life.
*sigh* But I'm okay. It could be worse. I decided on NOT doing Lacrosse this spring but rather do what is in my heart and that is gymnastics. So yeah. I'm happy right now.
I can't wait for the Grammy Awards tomorrow. I can't wait. I got my stuff for work this summer and I can't wait at all! I'm so excited and on top of it all...hopefully I will be going to the Justin Timberlake and Christina Aguerlia tour this summer. I'm excited. I know what to expect this summer and its going to be good. I can't wait! I'm also going to be going to Ireland which I can not wait for and most likely London for a couple days as well. hehehe. *grin* Well, I promise to write more. So I'm going to go now.
xoxo
Jenna
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| well... |
[15 Feb 2003|01:13pm] |
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mood |
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sad |
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music |
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"Bonnie and Clyde 03" -Jay Z and Beyonce |
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Yesterday was intersting thats for damn sure. As I was about leave my mom came up and told me on my best friends aunt's just died. She had breast cancer and after lots of chemo and radiation she went into remission for a year or two. Well, a couple of months ago the cancer came back and spread to her brain. And slowly is spread over her body. I was very close to her because she was like my aunt in away. I told my mom to cancel my operation on my wisdom teeth but we couldn't. So as soon as I felt well enough to talk yesterday I called my best friend up (since I knew since i was 4) and we kinda cried together. I told her no matter what I was going to be here for her. The wake is tomorrow and the funeral is Monday. Its going to be a sad weekend. Her family is like my second family so its hard. And then with my wisdom teeth getting pulled isn't the best because I'm in pain and I look a little like Alvin the chimpmuck but they know so i guess thats okay.
And all I got to say is 12 hour novicane rocks. And only my bottom ones hurt not my top so thats good. Its just going to be a long 4 day weekend and a sad one at that. Well, I'm going to go and I will write later about everything.
xoxo
Jenna
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| =) |
[12 Feb 2003|05:43pm] |
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mood |
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 thoughtful |
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music |
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"Landslide" The Dixie Chicks. |
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Well, as I'm listening to the "Landslide" song by the Dixie Chicks I can't help but wonder what the song means. Have you ever had one of those days that you just keept on thinking and dreaming. Well---today was one of those days. I'm always thinking about the future..((if I do this now...will this effect me later on in life)) hence the reason why I don't drink or smoke. But then sometimes you think...oh fuck it...you only live once but then I got back to thinking for the future. Like now...I already know what I want to do with my life. What I want to be. How I want my life to go. And I know it won't go that way but I can always hope.
*And on a serious issue...this fuckin' damn terrorist shit. I'm sick of it. Fuckin' sick of it. I want to live my life not in fear but in happiness. And I have been since 9/11 and I went into the city right after it and I'm proud to say that I did. But this fuckin' thing is pissing me off. And I'm not scared I'm just angry. Fed up to be more like it. Okay..I'm going to stop so yea..*
Count down to the wisdom teeth out 2 days!! I have never had surgery at all so this is going to be new to me. And I'm not scared. I know it will end up hurting like a bitch but I'mm al for it. Bring it on...watch when the entry after my wisdom teeth come out I will be like 'What the hell was I thinking?' I have to go to the GI doctor next week (next thursday) gets me a day off. We will have to see. *sigh*
Well, I have seen my 2 cousins from FL in 3 years today. And I miss them terribly. I really wish they lived closer. *sigh* love ya jess and michael!
---Lacrosse---
Well, I played it last year and I even went to a Lacrosse Camp over the summer. I really do not like my coach at all! And I mean at all! He made my life a living hell durning the season. I really love the sport but I don't like the coach at all. So I'm torn. I told my parents and everything they said that what I ever did I was fine but they want me to play. I really want to the Varistey Jacket and all that stuff but I don't want to deal with the coach. And plus our team wasn't a team...we were more indivuals not a team and it sucked. So I don't know. *sigh*. I could always quit but it does cost money to play but I know its good for me....*sigh* HELP!
I can't wait for the summer...I just decided that...I need it ASAP. Okay. AP history reading is calling my name so to speak. I will write later.
xoxo
Jenna
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| snow. |
[07 Feb 2003|01:37pm] |
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mood |
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 cold |
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music |
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Old School Nsync ;) |
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well. its snowing..a lot. Thats for damn sure. I think we might have 6-7 inches. Lucky people that live in Califorina and Florida...you all suck. j/k. But what I wouldn't do to be in a warm place like that now. *sigh* It did get me a day off from school so I got to give props to the snow for that...(did i just give props to snow? oh god..i'm losing it)
Todays my mom's birthday---happy birthday mom (even though i know you will never read this)---
But anyways...nothing really exciting is happening. But being sick sucks the big one. I've had a bad cold/cough for the past couple days and it sucks. I think the tissue and I have bonded. *sigh*
*cough*
okay. I'm going to go now because yeah..
xoxo
Jenna
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| a brief moment. |
[04 Feb 2003|04:19pm] |
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mood |
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 blah |
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music |
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'Blowin' Me Up' JC Chasez |
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I officaly decided that music can heal all. When you are having a shitty day put on some music and slowly but surely it will make you feel better. I was having an okay day today and I put some music on and it brightened my mood and my day. I think maybe to escape reality I put on music---to get away from the world and it works for a brief moment.
A brief moment that can change everything. The way you feel. They way you think. The way you act. Is all changed in one brief moment. Let it be the music that chages you or a life changing affect.
Have you ever had one of those days that you couldn't feel? That you felt hollow inside and you couldn't love? That you couldn't express yourself how you wanted but you did what was expected of you but you couldn't feel anything. Well, I've had those days and now I think about I think it started right after September 11th. *sigh*
Well, anyways--midterms are over and thank god for that. I know I screwed up major on Math but hey I suck at that subject. I do know I got a C+ on my Latin midterm and a B+ for the marking period. I also know I got a A on my Current Events Final and an A+ for the marking period. Wait...also a B+ on my English midterm too. Not bad...not bad at all. I guess. I just don't want to know about Science or AP History. *yucky*
xoxo
Jenna
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| one of those days. |
[02 Feb 2003|04:59pm] |
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mood |
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 stressed |
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music |
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The humming of the heater |
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Its been one of those days that no matter what I have done---it was never good enough. After a little crying I started to think and I mean really think. But what I wanted from life and not what other people wanted for me?
Growing up in household were you are the only child puts so much pressure on you that it makes you older than you are. (People have always told me I'm a 'old soul' because I don't act my age I act older than I am and I guess thats a good thing.) I'm also the only grandchild on one side as well so being around adults my whole life comes naturally to me and taking care of people (mainly the elderly) is also second nature to me. When your an only child, you tend to dream, ponder, think, make up stories other than your reality and live in a world that you're the center of.
When I look back on my childhood, I didn't have a bad one but I had one of love and pressure. Pressure to carry on all the tradtions of my family, pressure to please everyone, pressure to be someone maybe I wasn't at the time, pressure to always be 'on', pressure to make friends. I say pressure to make friends because when you are an only child your best friend is usally one of your parents or a family member. By not having a brother or sister you heavily rely on your parents for everything and when you find your (best) friend you never want to let them go. I don't understand the dynamtics of it all but its a mental thing with only children we have a problem with letting go. Something I need to fix...remember the old saying 'Forgive and Forget'...well I always forgive but I never forget.
Or the fact, that nothing is never good enough for some people. I can't stand it because no matter how hard I try I don't think I'm ever going to please my family. Even though they say 'We are so proud of you'--you can tell they want me to do better. The pressure of being an only child can be unbearable at times and sometimes you wish you had a sibling because then the pressure wouldn't be as great. And its easier for your parent(s) to get pissed at you as well as hard as they try not too...its easier.
Take now for instance...midterms are this week and I'm studying Math and English. I'm not the best at vocabulary and math and my parents know that so just a second ago my father came in and asked if I wanted to study vocab and I didn't so I told him and he gave me an attiude about it and left. I'm like 'What the fuck did I do?' Nothing. And thats it. When you do nothing your not pleasing your parents and not pleasing your parents puts a hella lot pressure on you because you have the pressure of yourself on you as well.
With whatever my condition might be (my stomach and shit) the doctor told my parents it might have to do with stress..so make sure she is not stressed out *points* you see that icon above...heh. Thats what I thought.
*sigh*
off to more studying...i think i may have so more stuff to say..later.
xoxo
Jenna
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| damn... |
[01 Feb 2003|07:13pm] |
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mood |
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giggly |
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music |
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'Good Morning Baltimore' Hairspray |
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Well. Just finished watching 'A Walk to Remember' and I officaly feel in love with Shane West all over again. Damn...boy! *sigh* Its a sin to be that fine. *shakes head* I cried like a baby---and damn proud of it too. because how can you not in that movie! hehehe. ;)
Went to the basketball game yesterday we won! Happy dance!And then went out to TGIF's with some of my friends. I had a blast. It was constint laughs and giggles. It was a nice break from everything going on in my life.
^^^ i have had these sharp piercing pains in my stomach and back and i have been thru all these tests and they don't know what it is...i've been for a couple ultra sounds for my stomach and they have found nothing. so i have to go a g.i. doctor to see if maybe its an ulcer.^^^
*sigh* ever since 9/11 when I thought I might have lost my dad (he worked 2 blocks away and went up the the twin towers a lot) and then finging your 83 year old grandfather after he had a major stroke 2 months later really does a number on you. I have a had other shit too...but those have been the main things..including my other grandfather having a heart attack 2 weeks after my grandfathers stroke and then finding out your other grandfather (grandparents divorced) has Alizhmers *sp* is like wow. ya know? *sigh* So to get away from all this I listen to music its my outlet so to speak. :) It helps a lot.
And to top it all off..I've been pissed at my parents lately--maybe taking it out on them?-- I dont know...and things have not been going my way at all too. And with midterms i don't want to think about it either...I'm in need of a serious vaction.
xoxo
Jenna
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| hehehehe |
[31 Jan 2003|02:02pm] |
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mood |
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 okay |
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music |
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Bowling For Soup |
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What Justin Body Part
Are You?
I find that funny. ^^ sorry. lol. I do.. hehehe. Wow. I have a hell of a week..way to much shit to deal with for a teenager. Maybe I'll write about it later but for now..nah...i'm going to chill out. ;)
xoxo
Jenna
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| ------For Laura----- |
[25 Jan 2003|08:18pm] |
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mood |
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 ecstatic |
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music |
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The RENT Soundtrack |
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Well, today was amazing. I went into the city with one my best friends Laura. We were going to get half price tickets but they didn't have any good ones and some of them were like 50 something for half price...jeez! lol. So we decided lets try the raffle at the RENT theater. We ended up getting the $20 tickets---first row center stage----it was sureal. It was amazing. I was in 'aw' the whole time. The person who played Maureen looked at me cuz I was singing along and gave me a big smile and from then on keept on looking at me. It was cool. I loved it. And for Laura----
RENT HEADS:-) nyc girls forever...!!!!*nyc princess*making friends in lines*cute couples*weird guy on the train(scary)*angel look-a-likes-too bad he's gay(damn was he ever)*northwestern here we come!!!!*my toes almost fell off!* and we didnt mean to wear the same thing*:-)*get your freak on!*wow that was cheap! I could get used to that*jeez..we are fricken close.*meeting people from Cali*ow...my neck hurts*"Damn I got to pee!"*Come on 'moo with me!' come on!*the 'drug dealer' from the play was making some 'references' to us. lol*fake hats and bags*
many...many...more.
can't wait for the next time girl. xoxoxo
xoxo
Jenna
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